Lesson learned: It never hurts to ask

As a teacher of six year olds, I get to help with so many things besides just "school stuff." On any given day, it is very likely that I will be zipping up zippers, tying shoes, fixing necklaces, putting hair clips back in, sharpening pencils, unclogging glue tops, opening pudding cups, putting on bandaids, turning jackets right-side out, untangling jump ropes, unscrewing water bottle lids, giving friendship advice, settling arguments, explaining the difference between "on purpose" and an accident, providing trash cans mid throw up, putting baby teeth in baggies to be taken home to the tooth fairy, etc.

If I were to only help with math, reading, and science, first grade would cease to be functional. We would most likely survive the day, but it wouldn't be very successful, the classroom would be a disaster, very little would be learned, and pudding cups would go uneaten.

Lucky for us, just as teachers help with a lot more than just the "school stuff," our Heavenly Father isn't just there to help us with the "churchy stuff." He isn't just there for the spiritual decisions, doctrinal questions, and crises of faith. He can help us in all areas of our lives. We just need to ask.

Now, I'm not one to toot my own horn, but if I were to do so, I would say that I am actually pretty good at asking Heavenly Father for help. I have been known to pray and ask for help before a date (especially when it's with a guy that I really like and I don't want to botch it), when I'm lost and late, when I'm hoping someone nice will come sit next to me, when I need my day to go as efficiently and productively as possible because I have a million things on my to-do list, when my self-confidence is lacking, when I have no appetite because I'm stressed out but really need to eat something, when the turbulence on the airplane reminds me of my first (and only) Splash Mountain experience, when I have to put my big girl pants on and defend myself to a student's parent, when I have a student who is pushing all of my buttons and my patience is gone, and when I'm trying to decide what to say to a struggling friend who needs some validation.

Sometimes, it is obvious to me that I received divine help in response to my plea. Other times, it doesn't really feel like there was any difference. But either way, it's easier for me to feel confident in my performance and in the outcomes, whatever they may be, when I know I invited Heavenly Father to help me and then did what I could.

I figure, it never hurts to ask, right? We have been promised, "In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths" (Proverbs 3:6). And we have been counseled, "Look unto me in every thought; doubt not, fear not" (Doctrine & Covenants 6:36), as well as, "cry unto God for all thy support; yea, let all thy doings be unto the Lord, and whithersoever thou goest let it be in the Lord; yea, let all thy thoughts be directed unto the Lord" (Alma 37:36). Why would we ever want to pass up an opportunity to receive divine assistance?

As with any good thing, prayer can be taken to an extreme when we start asking for help in deciding what earrings to wear, what cereal to buy, and what rug would look best in the living room. This happens with my first graders a lot. Like when they ask me if it's time to go home. At 9:30. I like to call those kinds of questions "oops" questions. However, I am positive that if we ask with a sincere heart for help with something that is important to us, Heavenly Father will listen and will give us the exact help we require at the exact time we need it.

Lesson learned: With help, you can change

I have a kid in my class this year with some pretty major ADHD going on. And when I say "pretty major," I am not exaggerating. He is constantly out of his seat, walking around the classroom, asking me off-topic questions, and distracting the other students. I know he's got extra ants in his pants, but I also have a theory that he's actually capable of more and is just used to getting away with a lot of stuff.

So this past week I began a project I like to call: Do Everything Within My Power To Get Him To Complete an Assignment. I pulled out all the tools I had in my tricky student toolbox—I put a little smiley face chart on his desk so he could see his progress, implemented the "air fist bump" technique, praised like crazy, did a lot of winking, and even got the class involved to help support him. I pretty much did everything I could to help him realize that he really can do more than he thinks he can. 

The change throughout the day was fun to watch. He needed so much support and so many reminders in the morning, but then as the day progressed, he began to catch the vision. He started checking in with me, asking me if he was doing a good job and wanted to make sure I was watching him. Then by the afternoon, instead of asking me if he was doing well, he was reporting to me and saying things like, "Miss Brown, I did it!" "I did everything today!" "I worked so hard!" I was pleasantly surprised by how well the day had gone. He was so successful because he wanted to do it and was willing to work with me.

Oh man. It's days like these that are exhausting but remind me why I love being a teacher. 

Do you have a bad habit in your life that you want to change but feel like it will be too hard to overcome or it's just too much a part of who you are? It might be something smaller, such as negative self-talk, procrastination, or judging others. Or it might be something bigger, such as an addiction or a sin.

Regardless of the size, I can promise you, from personal experience and from watching the experiences of loved ones, habits can be overcome. But I can also promise you, that you cannot do it alone. You need the help of a Teacher who has a really, really big toolbox full of the exact tools you will need in order to change. Because of the Atonement, the Savior knows what it feels like to be trapped in a bad habit; He knows how hard it is to change. However, also because of the Atonement, He can work with you to "make weak things become strong" (Ether 12:27).

The Savior knows that, at first, you will need a great deal of encouragement, support, and a strong understanding of His love for you. It's been my experience that, as soon as you turn to Him and make the first steps towards change, He will give you that support and send tender mercy after tender mercy to help you get going. As the "day" progresses, it's important for you to check in with Him to see how you're doing. The Savior will encourage you and help you see your progress so that you can catch the vision of what you are capable of. Eventually, your "confidence [will] wax strong" (Doctrine & Covenants 121:45) and you will be able to look back and see how far you've come. The key is this: you will be successful if you want to change and are willing to work with the Savior.

Here's the kicker, though. (And I actually wasn't going to tell you this because it kind of kills the moment, but I think it's true to life so I decided to include it.) The kid in my class who had that awesome day... yeah, the next day he was back to his very all-over-the-place self and refused to work with me. I mistakenly had thought that things were going to be good from now on. I thought that since he had had one really good day, for sure the next day would be good, too.

Fortunately for us, the Savior perfectly understands that breaking a habit is a process full of ups and downs and it doesn't usually just happen over the course of a day. He will be patient with us (as we also must be with ourselves) and He will give us the exact amount of support, love, and guidance we need in order to be the person He already knows we can be.

So be brave. Take a step in the right direction. Go to the Lord and make a change. Rely on His strength throughout the process. Be kind to yourself. And trust that you can do anything with His help.