Lesson learned: Trust His timing

The following is a little insight into an almost daily conversation I have with one of my students:

"Miss Brown, is it time for lunch?"

"Buddy, we've only been in school for half an hour."

"Miss Brown, is it time for lunch, now?"

"Nope, not yet. But look at the fun things we're doing right now. Let's focus on that."

"Miss Brown, I'm hungry."

"I hear ya. But it's not time yet. We're getting closer, though."

"Miss Brown, now is it time for lunch?"

"I promise I will tell you when it is time for lunch."

"Miss Brown, I think we missed lunch! The other classes are gone!"

"[With a slightly exasperated tone...] Bud. Have we ever missed lunch before? I promise I'm watching the clock and I promise I will get us to lunch at the exact right time. You need to trust me, my friend."

The following is a little insight into some common conversations I have with Heavenly Father:

"Heavenly Father, I want to get married."

"Tess, it's not time yet."

"Heavenly Father, can I please get married, now?"

"Not yet. But be grateful for all of the amazing experiences you're having right now because you're single. Focus on that instead of worrying about what you don't have."

"Heavenly Father, I'm lonely."

"I understand and I know what that feels like. But it's not time yet. Continue to have faith that it will happen."

"Heavenly Father, I've waited so long. Now can I please find someone to marry?"

"I promise it will happen when the timing is right."

"[With a slightly exasperated tone...] Heavenly Father. I'm never going to get married, am I? Everyone else is getting married/already has three kids, a house, and a dog. Why not me? Why can't I have this?"

"Tess. Have I ever led you astray before? Have I ever messed anything up for you? I promise I have a plan. I promise it will all work out and you will be grateful it worked out the way that it did. You need to trust me."

_ _ _

Just as the teacher knows exactly what time lunch will be, God knows when we will receive our most desired blessings. And just as first graders have no sense of time and would eat lunch at 9:00 if possible, we may have a difficult time understanding God's timing and wish we could have what we want, when we want it.

But we need to trust Him. God has a perfect track record. We need to trust that and remember that everything will happen when and how it's supposed to happen.

Lesson learned: Remembering = Success

My students' ability to remember things really determines how successful they'll be. If my students can remember the rules, they won't get into trouble. If my students can remember that there needs to be a sneaky "e" at the end of a long vowel word, they'll do well on their spelling test. If my students can remember the doubles song we memorized, they'll be able to go faster on their timed-math tests.

I don't expect my first graders to be pro-rememberers, so I do some things to help them out. For example, with our class rules, I have the rules hanging up on the wall and we recite them every morning. And then, throughout the day, if students forget a rule, I'll ask the class, "Oh, wait. What's our rule #6 again?" And they all say, "Everyone does everything!" And then I say, "Oh good! I thought you had forgotten! Show me that you remember." And then we try again and everyone does everything.

First grade isn't just about learning; it's really about remembering. It doesn't really matter if they knew it in the morning if they forget it by the afternoon.

It turns out, remembering is still the key to success as an adult. Unfortunately, I feel like, lately, I've been having a hard time remembering. I'm not talking about remembering where I parked my car. I'm talking about remembering and applying the truths that I've learned from others and from past experiences. For instance, I've known that God loves me since I was a three-year-old sunbeam, but then when the going gets rough and my prayers seem to go unanswered, I sometimes forget that His love is still there. Or I know that repentance and forgiveness are very real principals, but then I forget and feel guilty again for past mistakes that I've already repented of. I know that reading the scriptures and praying daily are little things that make a huge difference, but then I forget and choose to just go to bed. And I know that everything ultimately always works out how it's supposed to, but then I forget and panic and think that this time will be the exception and there's no way things will come together.

But lucky for us, Heavenly Father has given us lots of tools to help us remember. He can remind us through the gift of the Holy Ghost, scriptures, modern-day prophets, patriarchal blessings, close friends and family, challenging experiences, and, if all else fails, post-it notes on bathroom mirrors...

So my new thing is to work on remembering. Not just in the mornings when I say my prayers. Not just when I'm sitting in a sunday school lesson. Not just when everything is going swimmingly. I want to remember when things are hard. I want to remember when I mess up and make a mistake. I want to remember even when I pray for something night after night and don't get an answer.

I want to remember because I'm finally figuring out this truth: Satan wants us to forget so that we will fail and God wants us to remember so that we will succeed.

Lesson learned: Hard isn't bad

I have a kid in my class who pretty much always knows all of the answers. He reads at a third grade level, gets 100% on all of the spelling tests, knows all of the double addition facts, and has, what we like to call, "teacher" handwriting.

But then last week something happened that hadn't ever happened to him before. Things got hard.

We were learning a tricky concept in math that was very much a visual thing and he just couldn't wrap his mind around it for some reason. I could see the panic begin to set in as he realized his classmates were all starting to get it and he was still confused. As we started a worksheet to practice this new concept, he tried the first one but couldn't do it. So then he started looking at his neighbor's paper and copying her answers. After calling him out on that, his chin began to do that quivering thing and he told me, "Miss Brown, this is too hard. I can't do this."

After working with him one-on-one for a little bit, it finally clicked and he was able to finish the worksheet. But he learned more that day than just how to add. He also learned how to persevere through hard things. He learned that if he asks for help, his teacher will be there to clarify and reteach. He learned patience. He learned humility. And he learned what his fellow classmates often feel like on a daily basis.

There are times where we are like this student of mine. Things just seem to be going smoothly, we feel in control, life is good, and then suddenly we hit an obstacle; something slows us down and we're not sure what to do.

I really dislike these moments. I don't like being confused. I don't like not knowing the answers. And I don't like making mistakes. However, I know that we learn the most when things are hard. And I also know that there are certain blessings that only can come to us when things are hard.

When things are hard, we often pray more earnestly, which strengthens our relationship with Heavenly Father. When things are hard, we remember our need for the Atonement, which strengthens our relationship with the Savior. When things are hard, we build stronger relationships with those we trust as we share our struggles with them and ask for help. When things are hard, we are later able to empathize with others who go through similar things. When things are hard, we may ask for priesthood blessings, which is humbling and can strengthen our testimony of the priesthood. When things are hard, we are more willing to slow down, be still, and listen to the Spirit. When things are hard, we learn how to turn to the scriptures and our patriarchal blessings to find direction and understanding. When things are hard and we pull through it, we gain confidence in ourselves and what we are able to do with the help of the Lord (see Phillippians 4:13).

Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin said, "If we approach adversities wisely, our hardest times can be times of greatest growth, which in turn can lead toward times of greatest happiness."

Bottom line: Hard isn't bad. It's through the hard that we learn, grow, are blessed, and bless others.