Lesson learned: Stop trying to be someone else

I have the cutest student in my class this year. She is fair-skinned, blue-eyed, blonde, and adorable as all get out. She's a great listener, looks out for the students around her, follows all the rules, and is always smiley. Pretty much the student every teacher hopes for.

The past few days, out at recess, she's been joining the boys who play soccer and it is a hoot and a half watching her play. She runs around and looks like she knows what she's doing, but then as soon as the ball comes her away, she puts her hands up in front of her face, gets this terrified look, and just kind of freezes. Then, as soon as the ball goes away from her, she gets her game face back and runs around looking all tough again.

When the class was lining up to come in from recess, I asked her if she had had fun playing soccer. She got a big smile and told me, oh so confidently, "I love it! I'm the only girl but that's okay. I need to get lots of practice because this is my second year on a soccer team."

Her response made me smile. She didn't care that she was the only girl. She didn't care that she wasn't scoring. She didn't care that she wasn't as good as the boys. I loved that she was just out there, being herself, trying to get better, doing her thing.

The past little while, I have been wishing that I could be different. I wish I could be more adventurous, less sensitive, a bit braver, more outgoing, and not get as overwhelmed as easily. I want to be like that girl in my ward who always knows what to say and has cute hair, or that teacher who never gets frazzled, or my sister who is brave and independent, or like my husband who is always so optimistic and consistent.

I spend a lot of time comparing myself to others and wanting to be different. But I'm pretty sure that's not what Heavenly Father wants me to be doing. Heavenly Father put us all in this giant soccer game with our different personalities and strengths and weaknesses for a reason. It's okay to be the only girl. It's okay to be slower than the other players. It's okay to get nervous when the ball comes flying towards your face.

It's okay to play in the game and not be like the other players. 

I had a wise mission companion tell me once that I needed to stop trying to be like her or like Sister Spear or like Sister Free. I needed to be Sister Brown because God needed me to be in Poland. He didn't need two Sister Spears or two Sister Frees. He needed one of me, with my personality, with my testimony, and with all of my strengths and weaknesses to be there at that time.

Of course, there is always room for improvement and trying to strengthen our weaknesses, but I feel like I need to work on being proud of my personality and my strengths. So that's my new goal. Try not to compare. Focus on my strengths. Stop trying to be someone else. Be me.