Lesson Learned: Ask for help. It helps.

There's this kid in my class who is a teacher's pet to a T. He wants to help me with everything. He told me he wants to be a first grade teacher when he grows up. He does things for me without being asked. He volunteers to be in charge when I leave the classroom. He makes sure he's at the end of the line at the end of the day so he can be the last one to tell me goodbye. He always tries to sit next to me or walk next to me in line. (If only all the men in my life were as attentive...) And, lately, he has been wearing his picture on his belt loop just like how I wear my teacher ID.

The tricky thing with this kid is that if I ever have to discipline him or if he doesn't get something, he takes it so hard and instantly goes into major sulking mode. And sometimes he decides to sulk just because. (I'm starting to think that he does it because he knows he'll get some extra attention from me when he does it which is really super.) I'll ask him what's wrong but he never tells me. He'll just keep his head down in his arms and won't look up at me. So my technique as of last has been to tell him,

"If you don't tell me what's wrong, I can't help you."

And then I do the I'm-going-to-ignore-the-behavior-and-hope-he-stops-doing-it-soon thing. He usually figures out quickly that I really am going to keep ignoring him unless he comes to me and tells me why he's frustrated or what he needs. The majority of the time, I actually already know exactly what the problem is, but I am trying to teach him the skill that if you don't ask for help or say what you need, it's hard for people to help you.

Ironically enough, I feel like I'm currently going through this exact same learning process in my life but it's not coming from my first grade teacher.

I can see it so clearly when I am the teacher but it seems so much harder when I am the student.

I feel like it's hard for me, and a lot of adults, to ask for help when it's needed. We want to look like we have it figured out and pulled together. Asking for help implies weakness, imperfection, and lack of ability. It requires humility, openness, and willingness to learn. I am slowly coming to realize that, even though it's not my favorite, asking for help is a necessity.

Here is proof I have found that we are supposed to ask for help and that asking for help is good for us:

• Bible Dictionary on prayer: "The object of prayer is not to change the will of God, but to secure for ourselves and for others blessings that God is already willing to grant, but that are made conditional on our asking for them. Blessings require some work or effort on our part before we can obtain them."
• Matthew 7:7 - "Ask, and it shall be given you." Along with James 1:5, 1 Nephi 15:11, Mosiah 4:10, Doctrine & Covenants 46:7, and scores of others.
• Elder Holland - "God is anxiously waiting for the chance to answer your prayers and fulfill your dreams, just as He always has. But He can't if you don't pray and He can't if you don't dream. In short, He can't if you don't believe." (This quote is from this amazing devotional.)
• My mom - "It never hurts to ask."
• And some pretty incredible people have asked for help - the Savior in Gethsemane, Peter when walking on water, Joseph Smith when in prison, President Hinckley on his mission, Nephi when building a boat, the brother of Jared when figuring out how to cross the ocean, Moroni when in battle, President Eyring when making career decisions, and Moses when he was feeling inadequate as a new prophet, to name a few.

So, bottom line, asking for help is good. It's good to go through the process of asking for help and it's good to receive the actual help. Asking for help can take many different forms. You may need to ask your parents or sibling or spouse or roommate for help. You may need to get down on your knees and ask a listening Heavenly Father for help. A loving bishop, other Priesthood leaders, visiting teachers, home teachers, and other friends can be asked to help. You may need to ask a medical, financial, or mental health professional for help. You may need to ask a teacher.

Whatever form it may take, I'm starting to learn that asking for help doesn't show weakness. It shows strength. It shows that you have enough self-awareness to realize there's something lacking or missing and that you have the desire and courage to make a change.

Heavenly Father is the ultimate source of help. Just as I usually know what my student needs and I'm just waiting for him to buck up a bit and ask me for help, Heavenly Father knows our hearts and desires and needs, but just wants us to come to Him and ask Him, in humility, for those things we stand in need of. While the process of asking for and receiving help may not always be my most favoritest thing, I am coming to learn that we need to ask for help in order to become who we want to be and who Heavenly Father wants us to be.

Just something I've been thinking a lot about lately.