Lesson Learned: Silence doesn't mean absence

On Friday, I gave my students a math test. I was fairly confident that the majority of my class would do great on the test but I wasn't quite sure how Emily would do. She's smart but she has labeled herself as a bad test taker (thank you, parents). The morning of the test as we were reviewing, I kept asking her questions, trying to boost her confidence. Every time she got the answer right, I would give her a fist bump or a high five and tell her things like, "Way to go!" "Man! I can't trick you!" "You are rocking it today!" etc.

The time came for the test and as I passed out the papers, I gave her one last bit of encouragement and then we started. As I walked around the room, I was happy to see that Emily was right with us and doing great. But as I circled around to her desk again, I saw that she was struggling and getting behind. She looked up at me and asked, "Is this right?" I told her that she just needed to try her best and move on to the next one. The next time I passed by, she said, "Miss Brown, is this plus or minus?" I told her, "You know how to do this one. Just look carefully." At the end of the test, she was stuck on the last problem and again asked me for help. This time, I just winked at her and smiled.

She only missed one question out of 15.

This is totally how I am when it comes to going through life tests. I want Heavenly Father to give me the answers. I don't want to risk getting an answer wrong. I forget that I have been studying for this test for weeks, months, or even years. I forget that I have seen this kind of problem before. I forget that it's not the end of the world if I get answers wrong on this test; there are many more years of "school" and many more tests ahead of me. I start to think that Heavenly Father has left me to figure this out on my own and doesn't care if I succeed or not.

The fact that God is at times quiet does not mean that He is gone or has stopped caring. Just as a teacher occasionally withholds answers to see what her students know, Heavenly Father may stay silent to test our faith and spiritual knowledge. I am coming to find that there is great wisdom in this. We learn a lot when we are forced to struggle a bit for the answer. We gain so much confidence when we have to really focus and search our brains for any knowledge we have that can help us solve this problem.

I also think that Heavenly Father will not necessarily stay completely 100% quiet. I didn't give Emily the answers but I did give her encouragement during the test so she could regain her confidence. I feel like it's the same with Heavenly Father. I have had times when, through little tender mercies, Heavenly Father has sent me little reminders that He is still there even though I can't hear Him. It may be through a hymn someone else chose that perfectly matches my situation. It could be in the form of a sunny day. Or maybe it's when a friend just "happens" to stop by or a family member just "happens" to call. It could be just a feeling of calm even though there's still no solution.

Whatever it looks like, Heavenly Father is the perfect teacher and will be quiet enough to test us but present enough to strengthen us.

Just something to maybe put up on the shelf for later.