Lesson learned: It's good that it isn't the same

I keep on feeling that in order for life to be fair it should be like a standardized test; we should all have the same test with the same level of difficulty. If my #5 problem is 6+5=?, then your #5 problem should be 6+5=?. If my test gets progressively harder, so should yours. If I've had three weeks to study for the test, you should have that same amount of time to prepare. And if I need at least a score of 80% to pass, then that should be the score you need in order to pass, too. This perspective was neat and tidy and made sense to me.

But then I look at what life is really like and I get all confused. I have a friend who has lost both of her parents and I have both of mine. That doesn't seem fair. I have a friend who is 32 and desperately wants to get married and I have a friend who got married at age 19 to the first guy she met at BYU. That doesn't seem fair. I have friends who experience same-sex attraction and choose to fight every single day to stay true to what they believe is right. That doesn't seem fair. Some women get pregnant "on accident" and others try for years and spend thousands of dollars and still are never able to have a baby. That doesn't seem fair. I have students who come to school in their pajamas, smelling heavily of cigarette smoke and students who come to school in the latest J. Crew Kids outfit and perfect pigtails. That doesn't seem fair.

Sometimes I get frustrated that life seems so much harder for some than for others. I feel like if we're all ultimately going through this "test of life" so we can live with God again, shouldn't we all have the same kind of test?

So I've been confused.

Until last week... when I wrote report cards.

As I was writing, I realized that a lot of what I do as a teacher is whatever I decide will help each individual student learn the material. I look at where they started when they first came to my class. I look at the parent support they have at home. I look at their learning styles and interests. I look at how hard they've been working in class. And then I decide what they need in order to succeed. Some kids need more support. Some kids need to go over the fundamentals again. Some kids need to be stretched because they're already getting all of the answers right. Some kids need to be taught the lesson in a different way. And some kids need to know they're doing great and right on track.

I feel like this same principal applies to the trials and struggles we go through in life; they are catered specifically to what we need so that we can learn and grow. It's a good thing that we don't all have the same problems and that God doesn't simply assign points to everybody using some kind of heavenly grading scale — "You successfully got through this trial. 10 points for you. She had the same trial but really struggled through it. 6 points for her. Great. Let's all move on to the next one" — He looks at the whole picture. He knows your weaknesses, the trials you've gone through, your family life, the blessings you've received, your strengths, your weaknesses, the supportive friends you do or don't have, your potential. And He knows what you need next in your life in order for you to be successful and ultimately pass this earthly test.